Posted 4 hours ago
Posted 4 hours ago
queenofdorite:

SCIENCE IS MY NERF DART LAUNCHER, INTELLECT IS MY BUTTERKNIFE

queenofdorite:

SCIENCE IS MY NERF DART LAUNCHER, INTELLECT IS MY BUTTERKNIFE

Posted 4 hours ago

elysedc:

The ultimate dad joke compilation

Posted 13 hours ago

theheartofachiefsoulofadragon:

monobeartheater:

chief-blue-meanie:

chief-blue-meanie:

“I keep rearranging the letters of my sisters The Beatles sign on her bedroom door.

She is not happy.” 

I’ve given up trying to make them normal.

imageimageimageimageimageimageimageimage

ok and now there’s another one

image

i didnt know the beatles could become so many words

Eh seatbelt

Posted 13 hours ago

chemicaldarkshine:

hardestcopy:

bijou1986:

A Mom went to have dinner with her son who lives with his roommate.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how handsome his roommate was. She had been suspicious about her sons sexuality but being a good mother she felt that he would let her know if and when the time was right but seeing the two together just made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the interaction between the two she wondered even more if there was more here than meets the eye. Her son, sensing his mothers watchfully eye volunteered, “really Mom, I can tell what you’re thinking and you can just get it out of your mind, we are just roommates and nothing more”.

About a week later the roommate remarked, “ever since your mother was here the silver serving platter has been missing, do you think she took it?”

He responded, “Well I’m sure she didn’t but I will email her and ask just to be sure” he sat down and wrote:

Hey Mom
I’m not saying you did take the silver platter from the house and I am not saying you didn’t take it but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love,
Your Son.

A couple days later he got a response from his mother:

Dear Son,
I am not saying that you do sleep with your roommate and I am not saying that you don’t sleep with him and you know I love you and could care less either way but the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed he would have found the platter under his pillow.
When are the two of you coming for dinner?
Love,
Mom

image

BEST MOM

I’m crYING

Posted 13 hours ago
Posted 15 hours ago

thebeatlesordie:

MY TOP 10 FAVORITE ANSWERS FROM PAUL IN TODAYS TWITTER
Q&A - This man will be the death of me, I swear.

Posted 15 hours ago

dontworrybecraycray:

Guys, some scientists just took a pic of the sun this month AND IT’S THE FREGGIN PUMPKIN MOON

HALLOWEEN IS HERE

ALL PREPARE FOR THE SKELETON WAR

THE PUMPKIN SUN IS WATCHING

Posted 15 hours ago

mapletheleonberger:

…what have I done?

Posted 15 hours ago